I Like to Make Lists

"Favourites from Plimpton's list of objects thrown by Rangers fans: soup cans, a persimmon, eggs, a folding chair and a dead rabbit." - The Weakerthans, Elegy for Gump Worsley

Things I started out saying as a joke that have now become a part of my regular vocabulary, making it so that every time I open my mouth I just want to mock myself:

• "Yo."
• "Word."
• "Sup?" and "Whattup?"
• "Cello" in place of "Hello" in phrases such as "cello, you got a bass"*
• "Like"**
• "So totally" or its more pernicious variant, "Like, so totally."
• "Whatev."
  
• "Samwich" instead of "Sandwich."
• Shakespearean-sounding words and phrases such as "Verily," "Doth," "Hath," "Quoth," "Whilst," and the like.***
  
• "Ain't" and its close friend "ain't no."
• "More better," "More bigger," "Biggerer," and other inappropriate uses of the suffix -er.
• Comebacks involving "your mom" and "your face."
  

Words I like enough to insert into my daily speech even if they make me sound ridiculously pretentious:

• Pernicious
• Non sequitur
• Loquacious
• Hyperbole (or Hyperbolic)
• Quintessential
• Dionysian
• Machiavellian
• Didactic
• Eschatological
• Dissemble
• Ginormous****

Things I like that some people judge me for:

• Dogs in clothes
• Unicorns
• Pink things
• Makeup
• 4-inch Heels
• Sword fighting
• Cheesy teen romantic comedies
• Justin Timberlake and others of his ilk
  
• Spice Girls
• Spider-Man comic books
• Video games
• America's Next Top Model
• "Modern" Art, including Abstract Art
• Taking pictures of myself

None of these lists are meant to be all-inclusive, I'd like to make that distinction now. Anyway, that's it for today.

*Watch School of Rock. Just do it.
**But it was in like 5th grade so by now it's an inextricable part of my vocabulary.
***A while back someone knocked on my door and I actually shouted, "Hark, who calls? - er, I mean, who's there?" Very embarrassing.
****Okay, so this one doesn't make me sound pretentious so much as give me away as a Will Ferrell fan.