A Day in the Life of Rewrites

Just got back into Provo and not working yet? Suddenly realizing that you're way past the deadlines you set yourself for a total rewrite of your play? Well, worry no more! Just follow this helpful itinerary and you'll soon be, if not productive, at least well scheduled.

• 10:00 AM - Wake up
• 10:30 AM - Get out of bed, turn on computer. Remember that you really ought to eat breakfast.
• 11:30 AM - Go to computer, open up Word. Remember to shower.
• 1:00 PM - Decide that your hair and makeup look alright. Now it's time for lunch. An elaborate lunch - experts say it's best to take time to eat, you know, and really pay attention to what you eat. Health is important, after all.
• 2:00 PM - Go to computer, remember that you have rehearsal at 3, and decide not to write. After all, what if you get on a roll and you don't want to stop? And shouldn't you be preparing for rehearsal? Shows are important, after all.
• 2:30 PM - Stop playing piano because it's time to head to rehearsal.
• 5:30 PM - Get home from rehearsal. Watch an episode of Scrubs to unwind.
• 5:50 PM - Make that two episodes of Scrubs.
• 6:10 PM - Dinner time. Take time to carefully contemplate before choosing which leftovers or prepackaged meal to eat. You can't rush these things.
• 7:00 PM - Go to computer and turn on your music. Wonder if this is really the best playlist you could've chosen for rewrites of this particular play. Carefully comb through your entire music library to make sure you haven't missed any crucial, inspiration-bestowing songs. Then recheck your playlist to make sure there aren't any detrimental songs on it. Be as thorough as possible.
  
• 7:45 PM - Switch back over to Word and open up the saved copy of your latest draft. Stare at the spot where you stopped last time. Visit Facebook to see if there's any inspiration there. Read lots of profiles, but don't actually reply to any messages you've received - you don't want to leave anything that could be construed as evidence of procrastination.
• 8:15 PM - Wait until a song by your favorite band plays. See if you can figure out when their new CD comes out - and if you can preorder it somehow.
• 8:30 PM - Go for a walk. Walks are therapeutic or something like that.
• 8:35 PM - Get bored of not talking and call someone. If they ask about your play, tell them you're taking a break to go on a walk. Talk about anything you can think of. Talking is a good way to get ideas, right?
• 9:30 PM - Hang up because the other person has to go. Realize that it's definitely getting dark outside now. Go home.
• 9:35 PM - After that long walk, you really need a drink. And some snacks. And some more TV.
• 10:30 PM - Have you checked your email yet? You should do that.
• 10:45 PM - Find yourself on Glamour.com for no good reason. Read some stuff.
• 11:30 PM - Write in your journal. Someone has to chronicle all the exciting events of the day.
• 12:00 AM - Check to see if the Stephen Mitchell translation of the Tao Te Ching is in any of the libraries in your area. Then check to see if you can buy it online, and if so should you? Everyone says it's the best version, after all.
• 12:15 AM - Consider your play. Decide that you're blocked. Look up cures for writer's block on Google. Don't actually read any of them, though.
• 1:00 AM - Realize that you're back in the living room and you don't remember why. Return to your computer.
• 1:30 AM - Decide that it's been a really long time since you wrote in your blog.
• 2:00 AM - Hopefully, get some sleep.

Follow this schedule every day and while you may not ever accomplish anything, at least you'll be so frustrated with yourself that it won't really matter anymore.