Cool Points Report - 3/4/8

In order to keep everyone up to date on my opinions, I am establishing a Coolness Report to tell you where people are on the current Coolness Scale. This way you can know who is cool, who isn't, and exactly what you should think and believe. As this is based on a point system, obviously you should like people who are gaining in points, and you should dislike people who are losing points. Ready? Here we go...

The Following People Have Recently LOST Cool Points:

Gary Hubbell and "The Angry White Man"
...At least as described in the Aspen Times News last month. And I quote:

"'Press "one" for English' is a curse-word to him."
"[The] thought of killing someone who needs killing really doesn’t bother him."
"Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina — he got his people together and got the hell out, then went back in to rescue those too helpless and stupid to help themselves..."
"He knows that his wife is more emotional than rational, and he guides the family in a rational manner."

And it goes on. Oh, it goes on. Basically if you just go through this article and replace "Angry White Man" with "Massive Tool" everywhere you find it, you'll have an inkling of what I think about Mr. Hubbell's opinion. In fact, Hillary Clinton actually gained some Cool Points just because "the Angry White Man loathes Hillary Clinton," which is about the only reason she hasn't hit the lower depths of the Coolness Scale lately (seriously lady, can we just chill?). And I'm sorry, but if you identify with more than about 30% of this article, then you're probably a bit of tool, too.

The US Mint
What's with turning the Sacajawea dollar coin into the James Madison dollar coin? I know he was instrumental to the writing of the Constitution and all (I mean, I've seen A More Perfect Union), but come on. It was so cool having a coin that didn't feature an upper-class white guy, even if it was a coin that nobody really uses.

Charlotte Allen and The Washington Post

"The theory that women are the dumber sex...is amply supported by neurological and standardized-testing evidence....So I don't understand why more women don't relax, [and] enjoy the innate abilities most of us possess...Then we could shriek and swoon and gossip and read chick lit to our hearts' content and not mind the fact that way down deep, we are . . . kind of dim."

Yeah...I know the Washington Post people said the article was supposed to be "tongue-in-cheek" (in which case she just doesn't know what she's doing if you ask me), but I somehow doubt it based on all that I've heard about Ms. Allen. Then again, I'm more emotional than rational, and also kind of dim. (Read the article if you feel like being annoyed today. And then read Katha Pollit's response and feel a little better about life.)

My Sociology 112 Midterm
That was NOT the grade I wanted.

Meanwhile, These People Have Gotten Significantly Cooler:

Daniel Day-Lewis
Watch There Will Be Blood. That's all I have to say.






Mary Doria Russell
The Sparrow was about the best thing I've read this year.

The WGA
A few points gained for going on strike. Many, many more for not being on strike anymore.

Emma Thompson
Here's the story: gorgeous British actress Hayley Atwell was asked by the producers at Miramax to lose weight for her role in Brideshead Revisited. Emma Thompson, who also appears in the film, heard about Atwell's predicament one night over dinner, and the next day she called the producers and threatened to quit the film if they didn't let Atwell off the hook. Emma Thompson is so cool, and so powerful, and so Oscar-winning, that the Miramax guys quickly shut up, and now when the film comes out we can see Hayley Atwell in all her gorgeous, non-sickly-looking* glory. Emma also apparently calls up Kate Winslet every now and then to ask if she's eating "proper desserts." I love it. You know how I said before that I might want to be her when I grow up? Well now I definitely do. (This story was originally reported by People.)

Stephen Sondheim
He hasn't actually done anything lately to warrant a sudden rise in Coolness, at least not that I'm aware of, but we were just assigned scenes from Sunday in the Park with George in my Musical Scene Study class and it reminded me of how much I LOVE THIS MAN's work. Sondheim is so cool that Tim Threlfall gets cooler just for assigning his stuff to us in class. And since I've lately become addicted to imeem, you can now find my paltry 5-song Sondheim playlist there. Yay!

In Summary...
British actresses are cool; angry white guys are not. Hm...what else is new?

*You want sickly-looking? Check out Renee Zellwegger lately. Remember when she used to actually, you know, have a body? Here's a comparison care of the Daily Mail.